Jimmy Hendrix and The Beatles

You ask for it again. Keep on telling me how easy it is for me to do it.

Just send me the mail when you finish it, you say.

I try to think of another you might like, in the car, on the bed, on the sink, the school or my house, anything to get you jealous, whatever gets you off. Flashes of men from the past go into my head, faint details of tastes and feels, but not as clearly as that one. That time when I woke up with The Beatles and Led Zepplin under my head, the bed reeking of beer. That time when I woke up, initially lost, until I caught site of him, and the hit on my head.

You tell me you like listening to me talk about them, what I did, how I did it, the ex’s whose faces you somehow created. It makes you jealous, makes you want me more, thinking of what they did to me, in detail. You make me to tell you every aspect of it, every touch that landed on my skin… the sounds I made. I wonder if you would still want to hear about that single time, that single cheat. Would you want to know how it started, while you push your weight on me? Or would you rather read about it, in chapters, as we sometimes do through mail, to add to the thrill?

I found your fetish sick, I still do, but I give you what you want anyway. Even send you fake stories I took off the net. Just change a few nouns and pronouns here and there, and I’m done, to reap the benefits when we meet again. Lie and lie again, just to hear what words of jealousy you would breathe into my ear.

Which truth would you rather hear Ren? That I lied about how I did it in front of the computer, or that I cheated on you? Which would you find hotter?

You say you would die if you actually see someone touch me. Promise me the pleads would never go beyond stories you recreate in your head, but what about that? I close my eyes and see it all again. Rearrange the scenes to make it better.

I press control, a finger lightly planted on “n”, but I stop, and search the explorer instead. No, not that one, not ever. Story worthy. It has to be story worthy.